The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee by Sarah Silverman

Author:Sarah Silverman
Language: pt
Format: mobi, epub, azw3, pdf
Tags: Sarah, Autobiography, Humor, Form, Entertainment & Performing Arts - Comedians, Form - Essays, Entertainment & Performing Arts - General, Entertainment & Performing Arts, General, United States, Silverman, Personal Memoirs, Comedians, Biography & Autobiography, Essays, Comedy (Performing Arts), Biography, Biography And Autobiography
ISBN: 9780061856433
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2010-03-16T05:00:00+00:00

Abby's Bat Mitzvah. From right to left (Hebrew-style): Me, Abby, unknown Jewess. Notice my occasion-appropriate attire.

* * *

The One Time I Should Have Said Yes to a Group of Guys Who Wanted Me to Remove My Dress

* * *

One morning in the summer of '09, I woke up and saw that I had six voice-mail messages. My heart sank--I was sure someone had died. But they were messages of congratulations. I'd been nominated for an Emmy in the category of Lead Actress in a Comedy Series. It was a thrill and a complete shock. The show hadn't been on the air in several months, and seemed so off the radar compared to its competition. We were in production on our new season and the possibility of Emmy recognition crossed none of our minds--so much so that we weren't even aware when the nomination announcements were made.

I knew there was less than a zero percent chance I would actually win. The nomination was already such a huge victory to me, so I looked forward to the Emmys with little anxiety.

As if the Emmy thing wasn't cool enough, this superfancy design house, Badgley Mischka, offered to make me a dress for the occasion. I'm not generally a fancy-gown kind of girl, but this night was special. Make-It-a-Treat special. I wanted to look like a princess.

I picked out the satiny fabric and the cobalt blue color, then Badgley Mischka sent over a basic template, along with a local tailor named Yuliy Mosk who would help me make tweaks to it, since BM (tee hee--BM...) is located in New York. I went crazy with the tweaks--it was fun to kind of be the designer, to turn it into something that was truly my own creation. It was becoming the most beautiful dress ever.

At one of the last fittings, Yuliy seemed very nervous.

"Yuliy? Are you okay?"

"I have to tell you something," he said, gravely.

I couldn't imagine what fashiony thing could possibly be so worrisome.

Yuliy said, "I sent the picture of the final dress to the designers, and...well...they're opting to take their name off the dress."

Truthfully, I didn't care. I'm not into the glamour of fancy designer names and haute couture shows. I thought I totally understood--this creation didn't look like the conservative kind of dress they made. It had become something else entirely. Something crazy awesome, that is! I did not falter in thinking this was the prettiest dress in the world. I told Yuliy, "I'm so happy now that when people ask who made this dress, I can say, 'Yuliy Mosk!'" I took Yuliy's lack of response as an expression of modesty and humble gratitude.

On Emmy night, I strolled onto the red carpet preening with confidence, feeling radiant, swirling and twirling around like a Semitic Cinderella. I even think my voice was different--like, I was even talking like a princess. And I proudly beamed Yuliy's name at every interview.

"This is a collaboration with the great designer Yuliy Mosk! And look! It has pockets!"

I inched down the red carpet, giving everyone with a camera their chance.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.